Showing posts with label ROFLMAO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ROFLMAO. Show all posts

Friday, November 21, 2025

There's nothing organic about Trump's stupid, offensive 28-point Ukraine peace plan, unless burying Ukraine to decompose it is the goal

Trump's stupid November 2016 Contract With The American Voter had 28 points, too, remember?

The first thing on that list was "impose term limits on all members of Congress" and the last ten things started with the words "work with Congress".

This peace plan is just the banal repurposing of that template, same as with Gaza, filled with more surrender to Russia Russia Russia and more Pie In The Sky than gramma can bake.

The unseriousness is off the charts.

AXIOS had the scoop here:

The full plan

1. Ukraine's sovereignty will be confirmed.

[What, like the 1994 Budapest Memorandum ROFLMAO?]

2. A comprehensive non-aggression agreement will be concluded between Russia, Ukraine and Europe. All ambiguities of the last 30 years will be considered settled.

[LOL, they're going to wave a magic wand and start over with a blank slate. Cue Burt The Invisible from Soap.]

3. It is expected that Russia will not invade neighboring countries and NATO will not expand further. 

[Sure, sure. In your dreams, pal. This was definitely written by Trump at 3AM]

4. A dialogue will be held between Russia and NATO, mediated by the United States, to resolve all security issues and create conditions for de-escalation in order to ensure global security and increase opportunities for cooperation and future economic development.

[ALL issues, lol.] 

5. Ukraine will receive reliable security guarantees.

[Like from God maybe?]

  • A U.S. official told Axios this would be an explicit security guarantee for Ukraine from the U.S., the first time that has officially been on the table during these talks, though the proposal does not offer further details on what it entails.

6. The size of the Ukrainian Armed Forces will be limited to 600,000 personnel.

[I'll take Nation Building for $1,000, Alex.]

  • Note: Ukraine's army currently has 800,000-850,000 personnel, and had around 250,000 before the war, according to a Ukrainian official.

7. Ukraine agrees to enshrine in its constitution that it will not join NATO, and NATO agrees to include in its statutes a provision that Ukraine will not be admitted in the future.

[Ukraine misbehaved in class and has to write "I will not join NATO" on the blackboard 100 times after school.] 

8. NATO agrees not to station troops in Ukraine.

[Watch me herd cats!] 

  • Note: NATO countries including France and the U.K. have been working on separate proposals that would include small numbers of European troops on Ukrainian soil after the war. This plan appears to disregard that possibility.

9. European fighter jets will be stationed in Poland.

[There are no European fighter jets.] 

10. The U.S. guarantee: 

[What if Russia launches missiles at Kyiv, which happens every goddamn day?]

  • The U.S. will receive compensation for the guarantee;
  • If Ukraine invades Russia, it will lose the guarantee;
  • If Russia invades Ukraine, in addition to a decisive coordinated military response, all global sanctions will be reinstated, recognition of the new territory and all other benefits of this deal will be revoked;
  • If Ukraine launches a missile at Moscow or St. Petersburg without cause, the security guarantee will be deemed invalid.

11. Ukraine is eligible for EU membership and will receive short-term preferential access to the European market while this issue is being considered.

[Do they get frequent flyer miles with that?] 

12. A powerful global package of measures to rebuild Ukraine, including but not limited to:

[All this new spending by a bankrupt country already $38.2 trillion in debt] 

  • The creation of a Ukraine Development Fund to invest in fast-growing industries, including technology, data centers, and artificial intelligence.
  • The United States will cooperate with Ukraine to jointly rebuild, develop, modernize, and operate Ukraine's gas infrastructure, including pipelines and storage facilities.
  • Joint efforts to rehabilitate war-affected areas for the restoration, reconstruction and modernization of cities and residential areas.
  • Infrastructure development.
  • Extraction of minerals and natural resources.
  • The World Bank will develop a special financing package to accelerate these efforts.

13. Russia will be reintegrated into the global economy:

[Russia will never pay for its war crimes in Ukraine.] 

  • The lifting of sanctions will be discussed and agreed upon in stages and on a case-by-case basis.
  • The United States will enter into a long-term economic cooperation agreement for mutual development in the areas of energy, natural resources, infrastructure, artificial intelligence, data centers, rare earth metal extraction projects in the Arctic, and other mutually beneficial corporate opportunities.
  • Russia will be invited to rejoin the G8. 

14. Frozen funds will be used as follows:

[The G7 holds $300 billion in frozen Russian assets, hardly enough for the current estimates for rebuilding Ukraine, which run from $524 billion to $1.1 trillion.]

  • $100 billion in frozen Russian assets will be invested in US-led efforts to rebuild and invest in Ukraine;
  • The US will receive 50% of the profits from this venture. Europe will add $100 billion to increase the amount of investment available for Ukraine's reconstruction. Frozen European funds will be unfrozen. The remainder of the frozen Russian funds will be invested in a separate US-Russian investment vehicle that will implement joint projects in specific areas. This fund will be aimed at strengthening relations and increasing common interests to create a strong incentive not to return to conflict.

15. A joint American-Russian working group on security issues will be established to promote and ensure compliance with all provisions of this agreement.

["Ensure compliance" how?] 

16. Russia will enshrine in law its policy of non-aggression towards Europe and Ukraine.

[Molotov-Ribbentrop anyone?] 

17. The United States and Russia will agree to extend the validity of treaties on the non-proliferation and control of nuclear weapons, including the START I Treaty.

[This peace plan is the everything bagel.]

  • Note: New START, the last major U.S.-Russia arms control treaty, is due to expire in February.

18. Ukraine agrees to be a non-nuclear state in accordance with the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons.

[This worked out great the last time in 1994, didn't it?] 

19. The Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant will be launched under the supervision of the IAEA, and the electricity produced will be distributed equally between Russia and Ukraine — 50:50.

[Like Chernobyl, right?] 

20. Both countries undertake to implement educational programs in schools and society aimed at promoting understanding and tolerance of different cultures and eliminating racism and prejudice:

[Mighty woke of you.] 

  • Ukraine will adopt EU rules on religious tolerance and the protection of linguistic minorities.
  • Both countries will agree to abolish all discriminatory measures and guarantee the rights of Ukrainian and Russian media and education. (Note: Similar ideas were incorporated into Trump's 2020 Israel-Palestine peace plan).
  • All Nazi ideology and activities must be rejected and prohibited. [Nick Fuentes most hurt.] 

21. Territories:

[Trump is Chamberlain ceding the Sudetenland to Adolf Hitler in 1938.]

  • Crimea, Luhansk and Donetsk will be recognized as de facto Russian, including by the United States.
  • Kherson and Zaporizhzhia will be frozen along the line of contact, which will mean de facto recognition along the line of contact.
  • Russia will relinquish other agreed territories it controls outside the five regions.
  • Ukrainian forces will withdraw from the part of Donetsk Oblast that they currently control, and this withdrawal zone will be considered a neutral demilitarized buffer zone, internationally recognized as territory belonging to the Russian Federation. Russian forces will not enter this demilitarized zone.

22. After agreeing on future territorial arrangements, both the Russian Federation and Ukraine undertake not to change these arrangements by force. Any security guarantees will not apply in the event of a breach of this commitment.

23. Russia will not prevent Ukraine from using the Dnieper River for commercial activities, and agreements will be reached on the free transport of grain across the Black Sea.

24. A humanitarian committee will be established to resolve outstanding issues:

  • All remaining prisoners and bodies will be exchanged on an 'all for all' basis.
  • All civilian detainees and hostages will be returned, including children.
  • A family reunification program will be implemented.
  • Measures will be taken to alleviate the suffering of the victims of the conflict.

25. Ukraine will hold elections in 100 days.

26. All parties involved in this conflict will receive full amnesty for their actions during the war and agree not to make any claims or consider any complaints in the future.

[In other words there will be no Nuremberg Tribunal for the Butchers of Bucha.] 

27. This agreement will be legally binding. Its implementation will be monitored and guaranteed by the Peace Council, headed by President Donald J. Trump. Sanctions will be imposed for violations.

[Who will head it in 2029?] 

  • Note: This is the same general structure Trump proposed to govern the Gaza peace agreement.

28. Once all parties agree to this memorandum, the ceasefire will take effect immediately after both sides retreat to agreed points to begin implementation of the agreement.


 

 

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Monday, October 20, 2025

ROFLMAO: The time-challenged imbeciles at The Washington Times forget to mention it was Trump's incompetent, biased, rigged 2020 census

 

Thursday, October 16, 2025

ROFLMAO: Paxos, blockchain partner of PayPal, mistakenly mints $300 TRILLION PYUSD, world's sixth largest so-called stablecoin pegged 1:1 to the U.S. Dollar with market capitalization of only $2.6 BILLION

 J. P. Morgan explains gold's rise as having something to do, in part, with "waning confidence in fiat currencies."  😏 

Why should anything pegged to fiat be more confidence inspiring, especially involving PayPal?

People who've been permanently banned by PayPal this morning are probably saying, "Couldn't have happened to a finer company".

This event should be good for fiat, and really good for gold, which won't suddenly be minted by anyone to the tune of $300 trillion, at least not until Elon Musk lassoes one of them thar asteroids. 

 

PayPal’s crypto partner mints a whopping $300 trillion worth of stablecoins in ‘technical error’

Paxos, the blockchain partner of PayPal, mistakenly minted $300 trillion worth of the online payment giant’s stablecoin on Wednesday in what the company called a “technical error.” ... 

Transactions on Etherscan showed that the mistake had been fixed after about 20 minutes. 

PYUSD is advertised as a dollar-pegged stablecoin that is fully backed by U.S. dollar deposits, U.S. treasuries and similar cash equivalents. Therefore, PayPal says the tokens are always redeemable for U.S. dollars on a 1:1 basis. 

However, the technical error highlights that the dollar peg is guaranteed by PayPal and its independent third-party attestation reports, rather than intrinsically tied to the minting of a stablecoin. ...

 


 

Tuesday, September 30, 2025

ROFLMAO he was DOA in the GOP Senate


 
... The Senate committee overseeing the Labor Department never scheduled a confirmation hearing ...  

Monday, December 30, 2024

ROFLMAO: Donald Trump censors Elon and Company


 

 In a stunning move, Trump's chief of staff Susie Wiles told those who will become his top lieutenants to get anything they put on X, or other networks, cleared first. ...

'While this instruction has been delivered previously, I am reiterating that no member of the incoming administration or Transition speaks for the United States or the President-elect himself,' Wiles wrote in a memo reported by the New York Post.

'Accordingly, all intended nominees should refrain from any public social media posts without prior approval of the incoming White House counsel.'

More.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

The whole point of stories like this is to make you think "crony capitalism" isn't a description of what's been going on and continues to go on right now

 

 Ken Griffin just hates tariffs, which funded the (necessarily very small) federal government until the 20th century.

Meanwhile he's afraid the 12,000 lobbyists which already populate Washington procuring handouts like the Chips Act's billions of dollars for businesses will be replaced with 12,000 other ones lobbying for something else, ROFLMAO.

 

 Citadel’s Ken Griffin says Trump’s tariffs could lead to crony capitalism

“I am gravely concerned that the rise of tariffs puts us on a slippery slope towards crony capitalism,” the billionaire investor said Thursday at the Economic Club of New York. ...

“Those same companies that enjoy that momentary sugar rush of having their competitors removed from the battlefield, soon become complacent, soon take for granted their newfound economic superiority, and frankly, they become less competitive on both the world stage and less competitive at meeting the needs of the American consumer,” Griffin said at the event. ...

“Now you’re going to find the halls of Washington really filled with the special interest groups and the lobbyists as people look for continued higher and higher tariffs to keep away foreign competition, and to protect inefficient American businesses have failed to meet the needs of the American consumer,” Griffin said.

 

Friday, September 20, 2024

ROFLMAO WaPo's "most rigorous reconstruction of Earth’s past [Phanerozoic] temperatures ever produced" surprises Michael Mann, says human-caused warming will not make the planet uninhabitable

The article has this response from Michael Mann:

 The timeline, published Thursday in the journal Science, is the most rigorous reconstruction of Earth’s past temperatures ever produced, the authors say. ...

Michael Mann, a climate scientist at the University of Pennsylvania who is known for his analyses of past global temperatures, said he was also surprised by the suggestion that the planet got so warm. The finding supports many scientists’ concern that feedback loops in the Earth system could lead to much higher temperatures than most climate models predict, he wrote in an email. But it’s also possible that the data assimilation assumes too much warming and is missing factors that might forestall a runaway greenhouse effect. “While I applaud the authors for this ambitious and thoughtful study, I am skeptical about the specific, quantitative conclusions,” Mann said. ...

Even under the worst-case scenarios, human-caused warming will not push the Earth beyond the bounds of habitability.

 

The article, which places us today in some of the still coolest climate conditions in 500 million years, never connects the dots.

It maintains that a dramatic warming event 250 million years ago caused the largest mass extinction ever, spewing carbon dioxide and other gases into the atmosphere, 25 million years BEFORE the first mammals appeared, who breathe the OXYGEN emitted by carbon dioxide consuming PLANTS, who then in their turn THRIVED for 125 million years under EVEN WARMER conditions than that extinction event produced.

Evolution was evidently turbocharged by this warming and its carbon dioxide, but then suddenly the first humans supposedly started to evolve 6.5 million years ago at the end of 50 million years of cooling conditions, WHEN THE TEMPERATURE WAS 62.6 F*, and continued to evolve into modern humans 300,000 years ago just as temperature KEPT FALLING to the coldest point in the record (51.8 F).

How did that happen?

The study authors are worried about what warmer conditions in the future will mean for humans, but seem oddly uninterested in how humans supposedly evolved in relatively much cooler conditions.

Maybe we don't really understand the evolution of mammals. Maybe humans are much older than the record indicates, and much more resilient.

 

At its hottest, the study suggests, the Earth’s average temperature reached 96.8 degrees Fahrenheit (36 degrees Celsius) — far higher than the historic 58.96 F (14.98 C) the planet hit last year. ...

At the timeline’s start, some 485 million years ago, Earth was in what is known as a hothouse climate, with no polar ice caps and average temperatures above 86 F (30 C). ...

For most of the Phanerozoic, the research suggests, average temperatures have exceeded 71.6 F (22 C), with little or no ice at the poles. ...

But humans evolved during the coldest epoch of the Phanerozoic, when global average temperatures were as low as 51.8 F (11 C).

Without rapid action to curb greenhouse gas emissions, scientists say, global temperatures could reach nearly 62.6 F (17 C) by the end of the century — a level not seen in the timeline since the * Miocene epoch, more than 5 million years ago.

 

 



Thursday, October 5, 2023

ROFLMAO: Republican governors bussing illegal aliens to liberal states makes Joe Biden reverse his promise not to build another foot of wall

 

The Biden administration says it is using executive power to allow border wall construction in Texas

FILE - A border wall section stands on July 14, 2021, near La Grulla, Texas, in Starr County. On Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2023, the Biden administration announced that they waived 26 federal laws in South Texas to allow border wall construction, marking the administration’s first use of a sweeping executive power employed often during the Trump presidency. The Department of Homeland Security posted the announcement with few details outlining the construction in Starr County, Texas. (Delcia Lopez/The Monitor via AP, File)

FILE - A border wall section stands on July 14, 2021, near La Grulla, Texas, in Starr County. On Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2023, the Biden administration announced that they waived 26 federal laws in South Texas to allow border wall construction, marking the administration’s first use of a sweeping executive power employed often during the Trump presidency. The Department of Homeland Security posted the announcement with few details outlining the construction in Starr County, Texas. (Delcia Lopez/The Monitor via AP, File)

McALLEN, Texas (AP) — The Biden administration announced they waived 26 federal laws in South Texas to allow border wall construction on Wednesday, marking the administration’s first use of sweeping executive power to pave the way for building more border barriers — a tactic used often during the Trump presidency.

The Department of Homeland Security posted the announcement on the U.S. Federal Registry with few details outlining the construction in Starr County, Texas, which is part of a busy Border Patrol sector seeing “high illegal entry.” According to government data, about 245,000 illegal entries have been recorded in this region during the current fiscal year.

“There is presently an acute and immediate need to construct physical barriers and roads in the vicinity of the border of the United States in order to prevent unlawful entries into the United States in the project areas,” Alejandro Mayorkas, the DHS secretary, stated in the notice.

The Clean Air Act, Safe Drinking Water Act and Endangered Species Act were some of the federal laws waived by DHS to make way for construction that will use funds from a congressional appropriation in 2019 for border wall construction. The waivers avoid time-consuming reviews and lawsuits challenging violation of environmental laws.

Related stories

Although no maps were provided in the announcement, a previous mapshared during the gathering of public comments shows the piecemeal construction will add up to an additional 20 miles (32 kilometers) to the existing border barrier system in the area. 

“The other concern that we have is that area is highly erosive. There’s a lot of arroyos,” said Starr County Judge Eloy Vera, the highest-elected official in the county, pointing out the creeks cutting through the ranchland and leading into the river.

Starr County is home to about 65,000 residents spread over about 1,200 square miles (3,108 square kilometers) that includes ranchland and part of the Lower Rio Grande Valley National Wildlife Refuge. 

Environmental advocates say structures will run through public lands, habitats of endangered plants and animal species like the ocelot, a spotted wild cat.

“A plan to build a wall through will bulldoze an impermeable barrier straight through the heart of that habitat. It will stop wildlife migrations dead in their tracks. It will destroy a huge amount of wildlife refuge land. And it’s a horrific step backwards for the borderlands,” Laiken Jordahl, a southwest conservation advocate for the Center for Biological Diversity, said Wednesday afternoon.

During the Trump administration, about 450 miles (724 kilometers) of barriers were built along the southwest border between 2017 and January 2021. Texas Governor Greg Abbott renewed those efforts as part of his ongoing immigration enforcement from the state level after the Biden administration initially halted them at the start of his presidency. 

The DHS decision on Wednesday contrasts the Biden administration’s posturing when a proclamation to end the construction on Jan. 20, 2021 stated, “building a massive wall that spans the entire southern border is not a serious policy solution.”

U.S. Customs and Border Protection had no immediate comment.

The announcement prompted political debate by the Democratic administration facing an increase of migrants entering through the southern border in recent months, including thousands who entered the U.S. through Eagle Pass at the end of September. 

“A border wall is a 14th century solution to a 21st century problem. It will not bolster border security in Starr County,” U.S. Representative Henry Cuellar said in a statement. “I continue to stand against the wasteful spending of taxpayer dollars on an ineffective border wall.”

Political proponents of the border wall said the waivers should be used as a launching pad for a shift in policy. 

“After years of denying that a border wall and other physical barriers are effective, the DHS announcement represents a sea change in the administration’s thinking: A secure wall is an effective tool for maintaining control of our borders,” Dan Stein, president of the Federation for American Immigration Reform, said in a statement. “Having made that concession, the administration needs to immediately begin construction of wall across the border to prevent the illegal traffic from simply moving to other areas of the border.”

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

This is roflmao material: Study finds 6.189 million deaths annually from cold, 0.638 million from heat, and can't bring itself to say so

For every heat death, there are 9.7 from cold.

The world does not have a heat problem.

It continues to have a cold problem.

Think how much worse cold deaths would be without fossil fuels to keep us warm, make fertilizers, and grow food. But these people cannot bring themselves to say that, no. Cold related deaths must be down slightly over a minuscule measuring period because of global warming!

A sane world would be focusing on the disparity of 6.189 million cold deaths.


Our World In Data

Our World In Data


 

 

 

 

 

 

Highlights in red.

https://www.monash.edu/medicine/news/latest/2021-articles/worlds-largest-study-of-global-climate-related-mortality-links-5-million-deaths-a-year-to-abnormal-temperatures

monash.edu

World’s largest study of global climate related mortality links 5 million deaths a year to abnormal temperatures

08 July 2021

More than five million extra deaths a year can be attributed to abnormal hot and cold temperatures, according to a world first international study led by Monash University.

The study found deaths related to hot temperatures increased in all regions from 2000 to 2019, indicating that global warming due to climate change will make this mortality figure worse in the future.

Professor Yuming Guo 

The international research team, led by Monash University’s Professor Yuming Guo, Dr Shanshan Li, and Dr Qi Zhao from Shandong University in China – and published today in The Lancet Planetary Health – looked at mortality and temperature data across the world from 2000 to 2019, a period when global temperatures rose by 0.26C per decade.

The study, the first to definitively link above and below optimal temperatures (corresponding to minimum mortality temperatures) to annual increases in mortality, found 9.43 per cent of global deaths could be attributed to cold and hot temperatures. This equates to 74 excess deaths for every 100,000 people, with most deaths caused by cold exposure.

The data reveals geographic differences in the impact of non-optimal temperatures on mortality, with Eastern Europe and Sub-Saharan Africa having the highest heat and cold-related excess death rates.

Importantly, cold-related death decreased 0.51 per cent from 2000 to 2019, while heat-related death increased 0.21 per cent, leading to a reduction in net mortality due to cold and hot temperatures.

The largest decline of net mortality occurred in Southeast Asia while there was temporal increase in South Asia and Europe.

Professor Guo,  from the Monash University School of Public Health and Preventive Medicine,  said this shows global warming may “slightly reduce the number of temperature-related deaths, largely because of the lessening in cold-related mortality, however in the long-term climate change is expected to increase the mortality burden because hot-related mortality would be continuing to increase”.

Professor Guo said previous studies had looked at temperature-related mortality within a single country or region.

“This is the first study to get a global overview of mortality due to non-optimal temperature conditions between 2000 and 2019, the hottest period since the Pre-Industrial era,” he said.

“Importantly, we used 43 countries’ baseline data across five continents with different climates, socioeconomic and demographic conditions and differing levels of infrastructure and public health services – so the study had a large and varied sample size, unlike previous studies.”

The mortality data from this groundbreaking Monash study is significantly higher than the second-largest study published in 2015, which was based on 74 million deaths across 13 countries/regions and estimated 7.7 per cent of deaths were related to cold and hot temperatures.

Professor Guo said that showed “the importance of taking data from all points of the globe, in order to get a more accurate understanding of the real impact of non-optimal temperatures under climate change”.

Of the global deaths attributed to abnormal cold and heat, the study found:

  • More than half occurred in Asia, particularly in East and South Asia
  • Europe had the highest excess death rates per 100,000 due to heat exposure
  • Sub-Saharan Africa had the highest death rates per 100,000 due to exposure to cold

Professor Guo understanding the geographic patterns of temperature-related mortality “is important for the international collaboration in developing policies and strategies in climate change mitigation and adaptation and health protection.”

ANNUAL DEATHS DUE TO ABNORMAL TEMPS BY REGION:

  • Africa – 1.2 million
  • Asia – 2.6 million
  • Europe – 835,000
  • South America – 141,000
  • UK – 52,000
  • US – 173,600
  • China – 1.04 million
  • India – 74,000
  • Australia – 16,500

ANNUAL DEATHS DUE TO COLD TEMPS BY REGION:

  • Africa – 1.18 million
  • Asia – 2.4 million
  • Europe – 657,000
  • South America – 116,000
  • UK – 44,600
  • US – 154,800
  • China – 967,000
  • India – 655,400
  • Australia – 14,200

ANNUAL DEATHS DUE TO HIGH TEMPS BY REGION

  • Africa – 25,550
  • Asia – 224,000
  • Europe – 178,700
  • South America – 25,250
  • UK – 8000
  • US – 18,750
  • China – 71,300
  • India – 83,700
  • Australia – 2300