A Devil's Dictionary definition of "happy ending"

 HAPPY ENDING noun phrase: a) archaic, now little used, description for the conclusion of a story where all's well that ends well, which of course is never the case; b) the fortune in the cookie which always comes with your Chinese takeout and is always made better by supplying the words "in bed" at the end; c) male sexual orgasm coming at the end of a session at a massage parlor, especially if there's no extra charge; d) description emphasizing the Schadenfreude you felt when you saw Max in Mad Max 2 permanently reunite Wez with his lover Lord Humungus in the final crash scene.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Devil's Dictionary definition of "cuckshed"

CUCKSHED, noun: a) a group of three or more Charlie Kirk fans; b) a place where three or more Charlie Kirk fans gather for an illicit, perverted sexual activity; c) a storage barn where CPAC weenies store cardboard cutouts of their libertarian heroes.

A proposed definition of "transvestite" for The Devil's Dictionary

TRANSVESTITE, noun: An utopian; an infantile person for whom the irreducible distinctions of reality are unacceptable and can readily be exchanged in a closet.

The Devil's Dictionary definition of a republic aptly captures the growing absence of law and order in America

In a republic the foundation of public order is the ever lessening habit of submission inherited from ancestors who, being truly governed, submitted because they had to. There are as many kinds of republics as there are gradations between the despotism whence they came and the anarchy whither they lead.