Trump's stupid November 2016 Contract With The American Voter had 28 points, too, remember?
The first thing on that list was "impose term limits on all members of Congress" and the last ten things started with the words "work with Congress".
This peace plan is just the banal repurposing of that template, same as with Gaza, filled with more surrender to Russia Russia Russia and more Pie In The Sky than gramma can bake.
The unseriousness is off the charts.
AXIOS had the scoop here:
The full plan
1. Ukraine's sovereignty will be confirmed.
[What, like the 1994 Budapest Memorandum ROFLMAO?]
2. A comprehensive non-aggression agreement will be concluded between Russia, Ukraine and Europe. All ambiguities of the last 30 years will be considered settled.
[LOL, they're going to wave a magic wand and start over with a blank slate. Cue Burt The Invisible from Soap.]
3. It is expected that Russia will not invade neighboring countries and NATO will not expand further.
[Sure, sure. In your dreams, pal. This was definitely written by Trump at 3AM]
4. A dialogue will be held between Russia and NATO, mediated by the United States, to resolve all security issues and create conditions for de-escalation in order to ensure global security and increase opportunities for cooperation and future economic development.
[ALL issues, lol.]
5. Ukraine will receive reliable security guarantees.
[Like from God maybe?]
- A U.S. official told Axios this would be an explicit security guarantee for Ukraine from the U.S., the first time that has officially been on the table during these talks, though the proposal does not offer further details on what it entails.
6. The size of the Ukrainian Armed Forces will be limited to 600,000 personnel.
[I'll take Nation Building for $1,000, Alex.]
- Note: Ukraine's army currently has 800,000-850,000 personnel, and had around 250,000 before the war, according to a Ukrainian official.
7. Ukraine agrees to enshrine in its constitution that it will not join NATO, and NATO agrees to include in its statutes a provision that Ukraine will not be admitted in the future.
[Ukraine misbehaved in class and has to write "I will not join NATO" on the blackboard 100 times after school.]
8. NATO agrees not to station troops in Ukraine.
[Watch me herd cats!]
- Note: NATO countries including France and the U.K. have been working on separate proposals that would include small numbers of European troops on Ukrainian soil after the war. This plan appears to disregard that possibility.
9. European fighter jets will be stationed in Poland.
[There are no European fighter jets.]
10. The U.S. guarantee:
[What if Russia launches missiles at Kyiv, which happens every goddamn day?]
- The U.S. will receive compensation for the guarantee;
- If Ukraine invades Russia, it will lose the guarantee;
- If Russia invades Ukraine, in addition to a decisive coordinated military response, all global sanctions will be reinstated, recognition of the new territory and all other benefits of this deal will be revoked;
- If Ukraine launches a missile at Moscow or St. Petersburg without cause, the security guarantee will be deemed invalid.
11. Ukraine is eligible for EU membership and will receive short-term preferential access to the European market while this issue is being considered.
[Do they get frequent flyer miles with that?]
12. A powerful global package of measures to rebuild Ukraine, including but not limited to:
[All this new spending by a bankrupt country already $38.2 trillion in debt]
- The creation of a Ukraine Development Fund to invest in fast-growing industries, including technology, data centers, and artificial intelligence.
- The United States will cooperate with Ukraine to jointly rebuild, develop, modernize, and operate Ukraine's gas infrastructure, including pipelines and storage facilities.
- Joint efforts to rehabilitate war-affected areas for the restoration, reconstruction and modernization of cities and residential areas.
- Infrastructure development.
- Extraction of minerals and natural resources.
- The World Bank will develop a special financing package to accelerate these efforts.
13. Russia will be reintegrated into the global economy:
[Russia will never pay for its war crimes in Ukraine.]
- The lifting of sanctions will be discussed and agreed upon in stages and on a case-by-case basis.
- The United States will enter into a long-term economic cooperation agreement for mutual development in the areas of energy, natural resources, infrastructure, artificial intelligence, data centers, rare earth metal extraction projects in the Arctic, and other mutually beneficial corporate opportunities.
- Russia will be invited to rejoin the G8.
14. Frozen funds will be used as follows:
[The G7 holds $300 billion in frozen Russian assets, hardly enough for the current estimates for rebuilding Ukraine, which run from $524 billion to $1.1 trillion.]
- $100 billion in frozen Russian assets will be invested in US-led efforts to rebuild and invest in Ukraine;
- The US will receive 50% of the profits from this venture. Europe will add $100 billion to increase the amount of investment available for Ukraine's reconstruction. Frozen European funds will be unfrozen. The remainder of the frozen Russian funds will be invested in a separate US-Russian investment vehicle that will implement joint projects in specific areas. This fund will be aimed at strengthening relations and increasing common interests to create a strong incentive not to return to conflict.
15. A joint American-Russian working group on security issues will be established to promote and ensure compliance with all provisions of this agreement.
["Ensure compliance" how?]
16. Russia will enshrine in law its policy of non-aggression towards Europe and Ukraine.
[Molotov-Ribbentrop anyone?]
17. The United States and Russia will agree to extend the validity of treaties on the non-proliferation and control of nuclear weapons, including the START I Treaty.
[This peace plan is the everything bagel.]
- Note: New START, the last major U.S.-Russia arms control treaty, is due to expire in February.
18. Ukraine agrees to be a non-nuclear state in accordance with the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons.
[This worked out great the last time in 1994, didn't it?]
19. The Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant will be launched under the supervision of the IAEA, and the electricity produced will be distributed equally between Russia and Ukraine — 50:50.
[Like Chernobyl, right?]
20. Both countries undertake to implement educational programs in schools and society aimed at promoting understanding and tolerance of different cultures and eliminating racism and prejudice:
[Mighty woke of you.]
- Ukraine will adopt EU rules on religious tolerance and the protection of linguistic minorities.
- Both countries will agree to abolish all discriminatory measures and guarantee the rights of Ukrainian and Russian media and education. (Note: Similar ideas were incorporated into Trump's 2020 Israel-Palestine peace plan).
- All Nazi ideology and activities must be rejected and prohibited. [Nick Fuentes most hurt.]
21. Territories:
[Trump is Chamberlain ceding the Sudetenland to Adolf Hitler in 1938.]
- Crimea, Luhansk and Donetsk will be recognized as de facto Russian, including by the United States.
- Kherson and Zaporizhzhia will be frozen along the line of contact, which will mean de facto recognition along the line of contact.
- Russia will relinquish other agreed territories it controls outside the five regions.
- Ukrainian forces will withdraw from the part of Donetsk Oblast that they currently control, and this withdrawal zone will be considered a neutral demilitarized buffer zone, internationally recognized as territory belonging to the Russian Federation. Russian forces will not enter this demilitarized zone.
22. After agreeing on future territorial arrangements, both the Russian Federation and Ukraine undertake not to change these arrangements by force. Any security guarantees will not apply in the event of a breach of this commitment.
23. Russia will not prevent Ukraine from using the Dnieper River for commercial activities, and agreements will be reached on the free transport of grain across the Black Sea.
24. A humanitarian committee will be established to resolve outstanding issues:
- All remaining prisoners and bodies will be exchanged on an 'all for all' basis.
- All civilian detainees and hostages will be returned, including children.
- A family reunification program will be implemented.
- Measures will be taken to alleviate the suffering of the victims of the conflict.
25. Ukraine will hold elections in 100 days.
26. All parties involved in this conflict will receive full amnesty for their actions during the war and agree not to make any claims or consider any complaints in the future.
[In other words there will be no Nuremberg Tribunal for the Butchers of Bucha.]
27. This agreement will be legally binding. Its implementation will be monitored and guaranteed by the Peace Council, headed by President Donald J. Trump. Sanctions will be imposed for violations.
[Who will head it in 2029?]
- Note: This is the same general structure Trump proposed to govern the Gaza peace agreement.
28. Once all parties agree to this memorandum, the ceasefire will take effect immediately after both sides retreat to agreed points to begin implementation of the agreement.
