Saturday, April 4, 2015

The Anthropocene Follies

Seems some people at Nature want to change the name of the current geological interglacial period now commonly known as the Holocene (the "completely newest period" for you Greek men out there, a very small part of, or the end of the much larger "most recent" Pleistocene and its Ice Ages, depending on who you read) to the Anthropocene (the new human epoch). To some this signifies that if you thought science had long ago killed-off anthropocentrism, you must think again because geology is being pressured to ascribe change to human influence just as has climate science. 

The wags here have suggested some amusing alternatives to the Anthropocene:










  • Hubrisocene
  • Windowsocene
  • Googolocene
  • Neocene
  • Hollowscene
  • Hollowcene
  • Misanthropocene (very popular)
  • Stultucene (probably the most anthropologically apt)
  • Epicene (not that there's anything wrong with that)
  • Crimescene
  • Hubriocene
  • Absurdopocene (has a real ring to it)
  • Alarmistocene
  • Nihilicene
  • Anthroporcene (my personal favorite, but should be Anthropoporcene)
  • Bulshitocene
  • Horshitocene
  • Whorshitocene (tmi if you ask me)
  • Algoreopocene (quite)
  • Narcissistocene
  • Narcissene (not to be confused with Nazarene but gets at the religious underpinnings)
  • Narcissicene
  • Climeobscene
  • Preposterousocene
  • Mommymommylookatmeocene
  • Bureaucrocene
  • Anthropobscene
  • Plasticene (for all you Beatles fans)
  • Wherethehelldidiputitcene
  • Mannthropocene (that's inviting a lawsuit I'd say)
  • Sputnikocene (too brief to be measured)
  • Incrediblyobcene
  • Anthropoidiotcene
  • Needtobecene (for the selfie craze)
  • Egocene (nice)
  • Fantacene
  • Herbacene
  • Vulcacene
  • ChickenLittleocene
  • Idiocene.
Perhaps more amusing is how contemporary science still must fall back on a long dead language of the Bronze Age in order to fish out the finest distinctions which only the Greek language can offer. Some animals are indeed more equal than others.