Showing posts with label Laugh Of The Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laugh Of The Day. Show all posts

Monday, April 9, 2018

Laugh of the Day 2.0: Holocaust survivor born in 1938 or 1939 warns America under Trump feels like 1929 Berlin

Here in "Holocaust survivor: America under Trump feels like 1929 Berlin".

The story references Newsweek as the source, here:

At 79 years old he is among the youngest of the Holocaust survivors still alive. But Jacobs can remember life in the Nazi concentration camp at Buchenwald; what the Nazis did to him, his family, his friends. ...

“It feels like 1929 or 1930 Berlin,” Jacobs says, ahead of Holocaust Remembrance Day 2018 on Thursday.


Laugh of the Day: What happens to your ad copy when it's proofread by the Chinese

New lightweight cookware "provides price control of the cooking process".

Precisely. Price control is always at the top of my list when I'm trying not to overcook the scrambled eggs.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Laugh of the Day: Snow for Easter

Snow for Christmas
snow for Easter
livin' in Michigan
frosts my keister

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Laugh of the Day 3.0: Facebook outraged it was deceived!

Outraged, I tell you.

From the story here:

Facebook said Tuesday that CEO Mark Zuckerberg, COO Sheryl Sandberg and their teams were "working around the clock to get all the facts and take the appropriate action moving forward" regarding the Cambridge Analytica scandal.

"The entire company is outraged we were deceived," Facebook added. "We are committed to vigorously enforcing our policies to protect people's information and will take whatever steps are required to see that this happens."

Laugh of the Day 2.0: "Stepford wives cost me the election"

Joanna stabs "Bobbie"

Hide the knives, folks, Hillary's on the hunt!



Monday, March 19, 2018

Laugh of the Day: Constituent asks Long Island Dem. Representative "What's the Second Amendment?"

New York values, folks.

From the story here:

Rep. Tom Suozzi made the remark to constituents at a town hall last week, saying that folks opposed to Trump might resort to the “Second Amendment.” “It’s really a matter of putting public pressure on the president,” Suozzi said in a newly released video of the March 12 talk in Huntington. “This is where the Second Amendment comes in, quite frankly, because you know, what if the president was to ignore the courts? What would you do? What would we do?”

A listener then blurts out, “What’s the Second Amendment?” The left-leaning Democrat says, “The Second Amendment is the right to bear arms.” The spectators laughed — some nervously. Republicans were not amused.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Laugh of the day: Trump's goal is reportedly 208,333 new jobs every month for 10 years

So says the story at The Daily Caller here.

Har har HAR........dee har har.

After 16 months (November 2016 inclusive through February 2018) the actual monthly rate of gain has been 182,500.

If you prefer from inauguration month instead of election month (January 2017 inclusive through February 2018), 14 months, the actual monthly rate has been 177,214.

February 2017 inclusive, first full month of presidency, through February 2018, 13 months, the rate has been 175,461.

From the post-recession low in February 2010 (not inclusive), exactly 8 years ago, through February 2018 the actual monthly rate of gain has been 192,197.

So by no measure of Trump's performance is he yet anywhere near the actual average performance post-recession of 2007, let alone near his own goal.

The best overall performance in living memory was under Bill Clinton when monthly gains averaged over 242,000 monthly over 8 years. But this coincided with the peaking of the Baby Boom in 1957 clocking in 20 years in the labor force by the end of the Clinton era, in 1999. The Baby Boom fueled the Clinton boom in every way, from jobs to housing to GDP, and also the stock market.

It's been all downhill from there.

Since peak total nonfarm employment in February 2001, just before the recession of that year through February 2018, the economy has added only 75,500 jobs a month. 

Good luck to Mr. Trump, but the demographic odds are not in his favor, on top of the headwinds from his own immigration policy.

In this context Trump's stated goals do not reflect knowledge of reality or self-knowledge, only hubris.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Laugh of the Day: Incompetent Sheriff Israel thinks he's Sheriff Joe

Quoted here:

"Jake, I can only take responsibility for what I knew about. I exercised my due diligence. I've given amazing leadership to this agency—" Israel started.

The tongue really had to lube the lips for that one.



Friday, January 12, 2018

Laugh of the Day: Nitwit cycler surveying the world's literal shit-holes by bike laments "open deification" when she means "defecation"

She botches "defecation" not once ...
I know that's how I like my gods, openly deified. :/

Can't say much for the rest of her English either, but if you need a writer, she wants you to know she's available! Yikes. All that fresh air isn't doing much for her self-awareness now is it? At least she acknowledges the clear superiority of Western toilets.

Here.

... but twice!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Laugh of the Day: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.